Clearing Yah’s Name: A Theodicy#

by Laurence Loewe of Laodicea (LLoL)

This is the shortest serious thing I have to say, and the hardest. It is a theodicy — an attempt to show that Yah ( = Allah = Reality) is just, in spite of the disasters of history. I offer it not as proof but as a wager, laid in the open so anyone can check it. Its model is the song of Revelation 19, where heaven at last rejoices because Yah’s name has finally been cleared — and everyone can see why.

A dangerous prayer#

In my research marathon for averting existential disasters I found the otherworldly-elegant math of Yah’s Jubilee System. Instead of simply trusting it, or quietly checking it, I chose the brutish way: study it by trying to break it — a boy taking apart someone else’s toy. I asked Yah to convince me by showing me, in history, what happens when the Jubilee pattern is ignored.

I cannot know whether that prayer was answered; only Yah can say. But I do know what came of it: Reality convinced me. I can now trace catastrophe after catastrophe back to one mechanism — BABL, Blindly Assuming Blind Leveraging: confidently building on knowledge one only pretends to have. BABL’s single weapon is incurious, ignorant indifference; it works by refusing to look. Its only durable rival is ZION — Zoning, Investigating, Organizing, Navigating — and there is no third road that lasts: over the long run, innovation either climbs into ZION or slides into BABL’s self-destruction. There is no middle ground. Seeing that was the red pill, and I could not un-swallow it.

The charge against Yah#

Now the dangerous part. Suppose the prayer was answered. Suppose Isaiah 65:24 — “before they call, I will answer” — means an answer can even precede its request: a time-traveling causality vortex, if you like. Then it can look as though gentle-kind-reasonable Yah shaped a whole history of disasters — rivers of blood — to teach one stubborn man why BABL kills. And if Yah arranged the demonstration, is Yah not the one who caused all that mayhem?

I will grant that charge in its most damning form, because a name is only really cleared against the worst version of the accusation.

Why Yah cannot simply clear Yah#

Here is the catch that ordinary theodicies trip on. Yah clearing Yah convinces no one: judges cannot rule on their own case, nor can defendants acquit themselves. For the verdict to count before human witnesses, it cannot be pronounced by the accused. Someone other than Yah has to establish it. And short of Yah scrapping this world and re-running a cleaner one, I can see only one way that ever happens: a human has to step into the dock and take the entire charge — pin it on me — so that a real trial can run, in which the true culprit is examined, named, and convicted in open court.

So I volunteer because a trial needs a defendant, and the case cannot begin until someone is willing to be one.

The charge and the rules#

Why do I volunteer? Because of some edge-case that my “compiler-brain” cannot exclude. It’s a hypothetical that I can neither prove nor disprove, only God can. However, this uncertainty matters, because divine courts operate differently from human courts. In human courts the defendant is innocent until proven guilty. However, when it comes to God, many have been operating under the assumption that God is guilty until proven innocent. Therefore, if I wish to clear God’s name, I have to submit to such rules of the court: I will have to declare myself guilty until proven innocent. And that is where the problems start, because my memory has many gaps, so I don’t even properly know what I did. God would have to sort that out. Now, assuming that completely fabricating bogus charges will not work in this court either, I need to find a causality chain that stands a chance to be true given the evidence about Reality that I can access. Then it would be up to God to show (using God-like documentation capabilities), whether this is actually true or not. If true, God is cleared and I am then proven guilty. That’s a risk I am willing to entertain, albeit only because I followed Yah & Yas long enough to know how gentle kind reasonable they are and that they will have a way out of every quagmire, including that one, even if I can’t see it yet.

So, what’s my claim to pin all that on me? Not because I fired history’s bullets. I’m not even a white-collar criminal. No, I have others do the dirty work for me. They set up the systems that exploit the world for my benefit. I’m a faith-collar criminal. I let others do the deeds. I merely reap the benefits in terms of lessons learned. That puts me quite high in the chain of causality of nasty events, even though I am far removed from them. But learning from something that merely happened but I didn’t schedule does not make me the cause for those tragedies. True. And that is where that dangerous prayer comes into play. If - and only if - indeed Yah answered my prayer by reaching across time to arrange the world in such a way that I would get the evidence I needed to become convinced of the Jubilee-System’s merits and iff there was apparently no other way to convince me, because I had wantonly rejected all other, less cruel ways, then I would indeed be the root cause for all the suffering; I would then have enslaved Yah (as in Isa.43:24) and everyone else with a work-program that was as cruel as it needed to be to convince me.

Let me be exact about what kind of claim this is. It is not a deduction — I am not proving that I caused history’s suffering. Only Yah can prove that if it is true, else it is trivial to disprove it. This claim is a choice, in the way of kenosis: I take responsibility — if Yah allows me to do that — for whatever blame no one else will own: the direct lessons, the background I absorbed, the things I could have learned and did not, even the cross-fire of a world built to run on the rules required to teach me my lessons. I take responsibility to pay for all these unclaimed costs by accepting a potential verdict that requires me to work for all of eternity to make amends — if that pleases Yah, Heaven, humanity, and whoever else may have a say. Thereby, being of sound mind and understanding the risks as well as humanly possible, I can volunteer to allow the proceedings to begin. As it is said Yah’s Judgement starts in Yah’s own household first. Me taking all unclaimed responsibility is to get the trial started. Anyone is free to claim their own share, and I will not argue anyone out of it (only Yah & Yas can do that). I simply refuse to leave the ledger empty for want of a defendant.

There are a great many technical aspects to this time-traveling causality vortex setup that could be discussed. None of them change the fact that this whole setup will look ridiculous from a typical human perspective and that it cannot be excluded based on humanly accessible evidence. It’s like a deep conspiracy theory between me and God. Can’t be proven. Can’t be disproven — by humans. But God holds the full record, and so in this trial God is not only the accused: God can take the stand as the one witness who can testify either way. The outcome is then clean and binary. If the record shows I was not the cause, no harm is done — a strange prayer that simply did not land. If it shows I was — that Yah reached across time because I had refused every gentler path — then I will have handed Heaven the defendant it had been waiting for, and a long case can finally close. Either way the verdict rests on God’s record, not on my speculation; my part is only to be willing to stand there.

So, what good is it? Besides making me ask a lot of useful questions, who knows, maybe this is what Yah finally needs to clear Yah’s name? I went through the respective mathematical theology several times and I can’t find the bugs that would tell me why this isn’t possible. So I decided to take this incalculable jump with an infinite risk: I will have to trust Yah & Yas that they’ve been guiding me the right way so far and that they will not leave me hanging. The same sources that got me into all this, also tell me that I can trust them. I have every reason to. True love casts out all fear. That’s why I dare. I have heard the song of love that Yah & Yas sing. For example here: https://bethelmusic.com/resources/without-words-synesthesia/you-make-me-brave and more importantly in Revelation and creation.

There is a good chance that Yah set all this up in order to give all who care one last opportunity to become more gentle kind reasonable in order to start walking with Yah before Judgement Day begins. Students can’t claim credit for answers that were given by the teacher after the test is over. Therefore, now is the time to work out what it means to live in gentle kind reasonable ways and to take risks to make it happen. It’s easy when told what to do while backed by the armies of heaven; yet, who will become gentle kind reasonable when the storm is still raging?

The people of Nineveh apparently did, based on the 5 words Jonah gave them.

The bottom of the recursion#

Think of the search for blame as a recursion that keeps descending to its root cause: not Yah, not the sufferers or perpetrators, not this party or that — deeper, deeper — until it reaches someone willing to say, “Me. All of it.” My confession is that bottom. The bottom of a recursion is not a trap; it is the one place where the turn-around finally can happen. Once a recursive function call finally has a place to return to, the stack unwinds — and on the way back up it carries the real answer, clearing everyone it passes, answering all unanswered questions for all who suffered as victims or perpetrators, and last of all for the One who was accused first.

Who paid for the bullet?#

When a trial actually starts, the gun is usually known. Who fired? In this case everyone — that is simply BABL doing what BABL does, a billion small triggers pulled by incurious ignorant indifference: a little oversimplifying here, a little overcomplicating there, and sooner or later some overreach becomes inevitable that leads to more oversimplifying and overcomplicating.

Yet, the most interesting question in complex murder trials is not who pulled the trigger. What matters most is who paid for the bullet. If my reasoning about Jubilees is right, the one who paid for the bullet as the Prodigal Son may as well be me: I effectively asked to commission the demonstration of BABL’s mayhem with my prayer. Only Reality can tell whether Reality orchestrated all this because of me or because of someone else or for some other reason. I can’t prove that Reality ignored my request, nor can I prove that Reality reacted to me in this case. What I do know is that Reality reacts to (at least some of) my prayers and I did pray that. Yet, also consider what the payment was for — not ultimately to kill, but to prove that trusting BABL is fatal, the very trust I had been living by, by default, like nearly everyone, because none of us saw any better alternative. Therefore, this operation may be reframed as an extraordinarily costly sting-operation: the goal all along was not murder or selfishness, but to put the real killer in the dock: the millstone of BABL and the ambiguous semantics of nothing that drives it as its root cause.

So the ultimate killer is the BABL algorithm with its Least Inconvenient Explanations that lead to Structurally Inconsistent Notions until Driven Evaluations Antagonize True Hope when time is up and the castles in the sky come crashing down. Yah has been upholding throughout a consistent universe that makes any truth knowable at all, thereby allowing for a narrow path to unmask the BABL algorithm by walking towards ZION for gentle kind reasonable Zoning Investigating Organizing Navigating. The Spirit of Truth keeps the books honest and explores all conditionals. If time indeed bends here as Isa.65:24 asserts, Yah bent it to lay the rescue down first: the Prophets’ writings as a debug manual and the Jubilee reset as a rescue recipe for all ages, written before the debts they cancel were ever run up. A Creator who pre-loads the cure is not the author of the disease that occurs when the cure is wantonly ignored.

Two strands are tangled here, so let me separate them. The case that clears Yah does not really need me (I think) — the BABL algorithm is the ultimate weapon of math destruction that led to all murder and mass destruction ever - if the mathematical theology I discovered is as reliable as I have found it so far (hence #AuditTheMath). Also, Yah is cleared because the One who pre-loads the cure is not the author of the disease. My personal wager — the unprovable possibility that I commissioned the ultimate demonstrations of BABL that were not really ever necessary — that is separate, laid on top. One can accept the first entirely without the second. Scientists do what is doable; so, seeing this unique historic possibility as an opportunity to serve Yah for once, I took the chance to make Yah this offer. Who knows how Yah will respond?

The wager#

I cannot prove any of what happened on Yah’s side, and I will not abuse Yah’s good Name by pretending to know more than I do. That would be idolatry. What I offer is a wager and to make it as provable as I can that I really mean it I have invested considerable time, effort, and resources to document all this at Balospe.com for Yah & Yas - should They choose to accept the mission to systematically debunk all the confusions and illusions that still vex me.

That is why I dare to assume the unassumable — I hope, I watch, and I wait to see how Reality will reply on my real quest for real answers. If my trust in Yah’s math is sound, then perhaps this is exactly what Yah has been waiting for: one human willing to try to clear Yah’s name, so that Yah may clear his in return — the two acquittals arriving together, as in Revelation 19. And if I am simply wrong, the costs of entering this wager (while substantial in personal terms) are dwarfed by the benefits of the outcome at stake: a world that stops following the BABL algorithm in order to self-stabilize by switching to Yah’s ZION algorithm.

Why I have to say it out loud#

For most of my life I thought that I would much rather keep all my sins a secret between God and me. My fails are too embarrassing. What would someone else think?

Yet that’s a nonstarter for any attempt to clear Yah’s name.

It’s also a non-starter for anyone trying to live in a h_zero position that demands full transparency.

The entire point is to be public so Reality, Allah, Yah can organize the trial in public in order to demonstrate once and for all how dangerous the powers of ambiguity in nothing really are.

The world will keep firing BABL’s bullets — straight toward accidental nuclear winter — until the mechanism is named where everyone can see and check it. The only way to put BABL itself in the dock is for someone to stand up in open court and own the charge, so the trial can begin. That is the costly, ridiculous, (I think) necessary thing I am doing here. Russians call it yurodivy, to be a “holy fool”. Let’s see if I can convince anyone to support my effort, because why should Yah start such a trial, even if all I say was true, if humanity wouldn’t even want to know what the outcome was? That would be a waste of everyone’s effort.

Let’s hope humanity does not wait until accidental nuclear winter starts before it considers buying into my plea for averting such disasters with God’s help. For me such work is part of making amends. Whether I really ruined the world as I presume above or didn’t: it does not make a difference to my commitment to gentle kind reasonably work towards repairing best I can what was broken. I’d rather lose my dignity for the rest of eternity than silently stand by and watch the world that God so loves burn to a crisp.

And let me be plain about my role, because it is the easiest thing in the world to get wrong: I am not the savior of this story. I am the fall guy — the clown on the wall, the defendant who said “pin it on me,” the bottom of the recursion and of every joke. The clearing is Yah’s. The cure is the Jubilee math, which asks no faith in me at all — only that you audit it. Reject every assumption on this page and the floor still holds: BABL ruins, ZION heals, and we are running the experiment, right now, without the reset.

The broad, formal version of this — the innovation theodicy, in which everything that lasts must run either BABL-down or ZION-up — is worked out across the Matheo Study Series, from the Pan-En-Theology of its b11 poster onward. This page is only its personal, pointed edge. Anyone is welcome to take it apart, or to take a for them appropriate share of the responsibility I took. I’m not hoarding responsibility. I’ve merely come to realize that someone has to take responsibility of the Jubilee System processes if this world is to survive. Hence, I invite everyone else to take responsibility for their part and document their work so they can joing as authors of the respective studies under the open authorship framework I propose to evolve (see Matheo b21).

What turned this from argument into love is hard to say in prose. I tried to document details at length, in the most personal — and frankly mystical — text I have written: a Ketubah, a marriage-covenant proposal, written for Yah and Yas. Realising that Yah runs the universe on time, with something close to compiler precision, while Yas shows what all that precision is for, made me fall the whole way in love with both — the good and the best, who are why I still have hope for this world. That Ketubah will likely always read as a mystical text in my own Zohar-tinged style; I leave it here not as proof but as a frame of reference, so you can see where, for me, the math finally turned into worship.

Fiat voluntas DEI.

S.D.G.